I planned on writing about my new summer fabric collection "A Beach House" today. Yet, those words will not come. I have other thoughts on my designer heart today...so please indulge me if you will.
I just spent the last 5 days with my sister Eileen who is battling breast cancer. I have heard the word cancer my whole life. I have heard the words chemo, radiation, stage 1,2,3,or 4. I know what a mastectomy is. I have seen the pink ribbon. But they are not my words. I do not understand them. In March of this year, those words came to visit my sister and my family. They are not welcome to stay.
As I sat on the plane returning home last night, I could not stop thinking about Eileen, her life, her journey, this battle. Her sheer unwillingness to succumb and choose happiness is nothing short of amazing despite the daily obstacles this ugly sickness brings. It reminded me of a link to a post she had sent me earlier upon her diagnosis. It was written by Sheryl Sandberg, a brilliant businesswoman, and the COO of Facebook. If you can spare a few minutes, then please allow yourself the time to read this raw, emotional, honest and completely beautiful post by Sheryl talking about the sudden loss of her most beloved husband Dave.
In it she says, "I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. When I can, I want to choose life and meaning."
Personally, what I took away most from Sheryl, and from watching my sister Eileen this past weekend, are these words: "I was talking to one of my friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”
Most of us want Option A don't we? I know I do. But I can't have it. Neither can my sister. But she certainly is rocking a bald head.
Thanks for a wonderful weekend Eileen - all the gluten free pancakes, the copius amounts of ice cream and trips to Target and Lowes (I hope your hubby likes our paint selections!), the walks, the talks, the movies, the gummy bears, the watering and weeding and wine. We are intertwined. I love you.
Here's to all of us kicking the sh*t out of our own option B's.
Sisters forever (minus Stephanie)
Yes, Steph, I'll write a blog about you one day too. Please and thank you.
With Love From Me to Hue,
Jackie