I'm having a moment. A real, heart stopping, mind blowing, life altering moment when for once, for one day, all the stars are in alignment in my world, and I am taking pause, taking a deep breath, taking stock.
You see, one of my dreams just came true: JACK!E Bedding became a reality. It's surreal. I mean, I kinda can't even comprehend it. I've been working my entire professional career for this moment and now, it's here! I will actually be tucking my daughters into bed under their JACK!E sheets! OH EM GEE!
I've been so busy trying to make it happen that I haven't really been able to "see" it or "feel" it, ya know? So, after I placed my order online on Saturday, I let myself take a deep breath and enjoy the moment.
And this is what I felt, this is what I want to say:
Mom, this moment is really for YOU. Thank you for loving me, and supporting me, and giving me the greatest pair of designer wings to fly. Thank you for all the sacrifices you made in your life to see your daughter succeed. I may not have been able to "see it" at age 7, 16, or 25 - all your wisdom, all your "beach walks", all your hard work, all your "magazine" dinners, all your homemeade Halloween costumes (still hate the flower costume in 2nd grade FYI), all your paychecks that went right into my college fund, all your patience during my creative endeavors (I really did love that teal prom gown), all your cheering at swim and track meets (even after my 1st car accident...sorry about that), all your carpooling, all your advice when my heart was broken (so glad I did not marry that guy FYI) all the clothes, furniture, and vacations you never took because you spent the money on your daughters instead of yourself, all of your energy and unending committment to be the very best mother you possibly could be.
Now that I have children of my own, I "see it", I see all that you did over the past 40 years and continue to do today as a grandmother. I KNOW how hard it is and I just wanted to say THANK YOU.
This one's for you.
With Love From Me To My Mom,
Jackie
My mom holding me as a baby circa 1970
Homemade Halloween 1975 (notice my Mom's costume..really?! What's up with the ears?)
My Wedding Day xoxoxo (I'm wearing her necklace that she wore on her wedding day)
THE GUILT. It's nothing new. All working mothers feel it every minute of every day. Some days it is enough to literally kill you. I've tried everything, but to no avail...my guilt still overwhelmeth!
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do and am so incredibly proud of the example I am setting for my daughters, BUT, see - there is ALWAYS a BUT!!!!!!
I recently ran into a colleague at the airport who was in tears and stressed out to the max as she said goodbye to her 3 year old daughter and 6 month old son for the first time. She was about to embark on a 10 day business trip to China. And she's still breastfeeding. I mean really? Men have it so easy!!!!! She took one look at me and started bawling because she knows I KNOW what it is like (including pumping and dumping in nasty airplanes - the WORST!). The courage you have to muster up as your little ones are sobbing, your cell phone is ringing, your flight is about to leave, and your stomach is in knots, is quite frankly, heartbreaking.
I just read an article about Kyra Sedgwick and her attempts to "balance it all" and she gave one of the best pieces of advice that I've heard in awhile: " When you are at work, keep your heart at work, when you are home, keep your heart at home. Keep your heart and head where your feet are planted."
Even Jennifer Lopez while on the Regis and Kelly show last week said "I'm sorry, am I talking about my kids too much?!" Kelly's response was something to the effect, "Spoken like a true mother, when you are not with them you are still thinking about them!" See, even rock stars have THE GUILT.
There is no easy answer, there is no cure - BUT (see there's that darn BUT again!) as long as your heart is still calm amongst the chaos, and you are truly happy when you lay your head down on your pillow at night (granted after you pack lunches, fold laundry and return all your unanswered emails), you can't really ask for anything more can you?
Well... I'd like Jennifer Lopez' body...BUT that's a WHOLE OTHER STORY!!
And to my friend Laura, you are one of the best mother's I know, keep the faith : )
Finally, I thought this was too good to not share with you. This was a TED talk that was given by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook. It is an ABSOLUTE MUST WATCH.
Rock on all you strong Mommys!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With Love From Me To Hue,
Jackie